‘that 4 letter word L.O.V.E. love, I , I wanna know now, how can 4 letters mean so much?’ goes the song…
I mean take a look at some different ways we use the word love.
- Don’t you love my new shoes?
- What’s love got to do with it?
- I’m in love
- I love what you’ve done with the place
- He/she is my first love
- That 4 letter word L.O.V.E. love
- I’ve fallen out of love
- Love hurts
- I love you
- I’ve always loved you
- this is true love
These are ways in which we express love with our words, but as we know expressing love can go way beyond words.
This concept was first brought to my attention in my own relationship with my husband Enzo. For those of you who know him, Enzo is an amazing man. I mean really really wonderful. When my grandmother found out we were together, despite the age difference between us, she said “he is an wonderful man, you won’t find another one like him”. And when your chinese grandmother speaks the truth, you listen. So I married him.
About 10 years and 3 children and a early mid- life crisis later (mine, not his) I was questioning the love that once existed between us. I went through all of the above statements and questions about love, almost on a daily basis….
During this emotional rollercoaster of a time, I decided to get the help of a clarity coach. Among other things, this coach had me get REALLY CLEAR on who I was, what I wanted from life and what I wanted to give.
I remember saying to this particular coach,
” I just want someone to go on walks with and have a cup of tea with!!! And my husband doesn’t do either of those!”
I have since learnt that this is important in all areas of our lives but especially in relationships because if we ourselves don’t know what we want, how will we know when it comes? And how can we live the lives we want to live, if we don’t know what that is?
And of course… that 4 letter word, means different things to different people, therefore
It is important to ask yourself:
What does LOVE mean to me?
What are ‘old beliefs’ about the word love I am ready to let go of?
What do I want the word LOVE to mean to me?
Once you become clear on the meaning You want to give to the word love, then you can look at how you want to express it. Just as the word has different meanings so do we have infinity ways of expressing that love…beings for thousands have years have sang about love, written about love, talked about love, painted with love, a lot of what we do are simply our expressions of love…
How do I like to express love?
How do I like to receive love? (e.g. gifts, help around the home, a hug for no reason at all)
And for a relationship: How does the other like to receive love?
Funnily enough when I became clear on how I wanted to receive love, the love came in that way… And yes, we’ve been together now for 18 years and the love really does keep growing..plus we actually go on walks & enjoy cups of tea together.
Lots of love, walks and cups of tea (if that’s your kinda thing, and if it’s not, What is? Let me know in the comments XX)
If you are interested in finding out your love language check out this free quiz
p.s. I also got my partner to go through the quiz and it was really interesting to find out what ways of expressing love are important to him…